moving on.

just when i've finally forgotten to miss you..
your memory takes me back and reminds me,
that its time to remember you again.
i cannot wait for the day i can say,
oh.. what's his name? i haven't thought about him in forever.

john mayer

just go ahead and listen.
I hope you feel this way about me. 


I just remembered, that time at the market
you snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.

Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though I'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

I sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives

She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty

Life of the party
and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say

She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawlessI'm not impressed, I want you back.

Changes.

Well kind of.

I accepted a job.

They bought my ticket.

California and Puerto Rico will give me a beautiful tan.

Maybe I will fall in love.

I will return often unless I take the full time job.

3 little words describe my life right now: The travel bug. It started with my trip to Italy, expanded to a vacation in Mexico, and left off with my 2-month stint to Pennsylvania/New York.  I also saw traveling in my future by getting my masters in another state, but I knew that would not be any time soon. Just weeks ago I told my mom that I wanted to take a year between undergrad and grad school and of course her biggest worry was what I would do in between. I gave her the normal answers: study and take the GRE's, apply to schools, get an internship, find a job, and live a school free life.  I was not prepared for the answer I will be giving everyone when they ask me now. 

Yesterday I received a phone call from a family in New Jersey with a beautiful 2-year-old son named Jack. I was shocked, because lets being honest, I did not think it would come. This wonderful family has asked me to become their travel nanny with the possibility of becoming their full time nanny once I graduate.  I will travel with them to Beverly Hills in September, Napa and San Fran in October, and Puerto Rico in November. 

To be honest I never saw my journey in life passing down this road.  Spring term, heck even half way through this summer, I was more worried about keeping a relationship strong and thriving.  It wasn't until I got my heart broken in July, actually lets be honest, not until I received this phone call that I understood why our relationship ended.  Now I realize I would have NEVER taken this amazing opportunity if we were still together.  This beautiful opportunity that fits so perfectly into my life plans and opens up so many doors for my future.

I know God has a bigger plan for me and this is only one of his many ways of showing it. I cannot wait to see what else he has in store.

LOVE

I cant smile without you.

Camp has been over for almost a week now and I have been trying to find a way to write this, a way to sum up the past 8 weeks, a way to say goodbye. Yet, there isn’t a way to say goodbye because it is only a see you later.  I will see those staff members I made bonds with again and may see another summer at starlight depending on how my life pans out. Camp was a place where we could all be ourselves; the people we are without the pressures of the real world.  As Eli said “I also miss being weird all the time no questions asked” and it is completely true.  There is no better place to act like yourself.

So lets recap the rest of camp:

Our division trip was a lot of fun! The baseball hall of fame was one of the most awesome museums I have ever seen.  I may have enjoyed it more then any of the kids did.  We also saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2.  It was just as amazing the second time.  Overall it was a good day away from camp.

OLYMPICS BROKE! At about 545AM on the second to last Friday of camp I awoke to a trumpet player in our circle playing reveal.  We all ran out of our bunks to the flagpole where a giant time capsule was waiting with smoke coming out of it.  The trumpet players then began to play another song and 2 blue figures and 2 white figures emerged from the capsule with Olympic signs.  Underneath the costumes were the female and male generals for the blue and white teams.  Then out of the time capsule rose a giant list with the Big Ten Blues and Wicked Whites team lists. I was on the Wicked Whites! The next 7 or so days were full of blue versus white games.  I helped coach girl’s nuccum, basketball, and soccer to beautiful wins.  Needless to say Wicked Whites dominated most of the games and activities.  The coolest part of Olympics was Sing! Each team had a female and male sing leader who wrote songs that the teams learned.  The staff helped build two AMAZING sets.  The night of sing we dressed all of our kids up as spiders, pumpkins, ghosts, and other such scary creatures while the counselors were zombies.  Each team then performed their songs and was judged by a panel.  Wicked white also won sing!

“Be very afraid we’ve already died. Trick or treat theres not place to hide And the night wont save you from the wicked white!”

By the end of Olympics there was white team domination as both Wicked White boys and girls won Olympics. WHOOO!

The end of camp was very sad. I didn’t realize saying goodbye to my girls would be so hard. The last few days were filled with tears and preparations to go home. The morning the kids left we had a sing along and I cried the whole time.  Then it came time to put my kids on the bus and I felt like part of me was leaving with them.  As my girls cried and told me they didn’t want to leave me I knew the summer had been worth all of the ups and downs. I knew there was a possibility I would return next summer.

Throughout the summer there were difficult moments, times filled with tears and complaints, and really tall brick walls that were hard to get over.  Yet, there was always someone there to pick you back up whether a staff member, a camper, or a note from home.  Everywhere you turned there was a helping hand, a friendly face, and a nice warm hug waiting for you. It was nearly impossible to feel lonely at camp and that is something I miss very much.   Looking back there was so many great memories that I will cherish for a lifetime.  Memories that will hopefully bring me back to camp next summer.